Wow, November first, the holiday countdown begins - argh.
Work sux, too much petty bullshyt and procrastination. My job requires absolutely no imagination nor intelligence - yawwwwwnnnn.
Yesterday got to see Jesse - young woman with amazing potential and is as nice a person as you will ever meet. She's doing great (not that I had any doubts she would) and it was the highlight of my day just having lunch with her. Miss ya Jesse.
My love life is it's normal chaotic thing but I do love my baby. He'll be going away for a week while my son visits - and our time away from one another might actually be a good thing. It will give him time to see life without me, and if he likes it then I will wish him well. Hell, I might want him to stay there myself - who knows.
A week and two days until my son visits - it's been such a helluva long time that it's gonna be weird trying to catch up all within a week. Wow I so need to work on the house though - argh.
My lil one is having monumental work issues and the Mom in me would like nothing better than to go there after work and do a number on a certain perverted, egomaniacal bastard who is making her life hell. But she pleaded with me not to. The asshole actually pushed her on a stairway so although I am calmish now, there's no telling if I will be able to maintain. Stay tuned.
Otherwise, beside rewriting a Graduate School essay that blew me away with its awfulness, and shopping for some uglyass clothes for work - I am, as always, just doing me.
Peace
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Of Communication in the Electronic Age
Thoughtful speaking and common courtesy is a still important, but less practiced, factor in creating a better future. More people take interest in Roswell's purported UFO's or Elvis sightings than in maintaining civility and decorum as part of their daily lives. As each generation expects less and less in terms of courtesy, soon "thank you" and "excuse me" will be considered Old English.
That which separates humans from other forms of life have traditionally been our ability to reason, our vast avenues of expression through language and our opposable thumbs. Well, as common sense becomes more and more a thing of the past, and linguistic abilities slowly descend to mere grunts of recognition and learned statements used in hopes of obtaining a reward (be it money, affection or position etc.), soon all that will make us unique will be our thumbs, (and I have seen a cat with thumbs so...). I pity the day when we have need to celebrate "We're Human, See Our Thumbs Day".
Although I must confess that I still hear people use please and thank you, I have noted that my use of "pardon me" rather than saying "what" raises eyebrows, causes snickering and elicits a look that clearly states, "you think you’re special don’t you." Correct me if I am wrong but was "pardon me" not once an oft-used phrase in the English language?
It has been claimed that Women's Lib was the ice age of courtesy between men and women, such as door opening and pulling out chairs, which may or may not be true dependant upon perspective (and I simply cannot cover every subject known to man in this book, after all, what would its sequel be about). It seems; however, that gentlemen giving up their seat to the elderly, expectant mothers or small children has also fallen causality to the metamorphoses of genteel society. As I ride the subway to and from work daily one would think I would be accustomed to the scene; however, no matter how many times I see it I am always chagrined at the men, relatively young on the most part, who are seated as an elderly man or woman flail about; or an expectant mother nearly falls to the floor. For over a year I would take my train back two stops so that I would be assured of a seat as it pained me to not have one to offer in such instances. People, please, a little courtesy.
In this day and age of high tech, low human contact, those characteristics which we once depended so much upon, i.e., communication, respect and caring, have been replaced with E-mail, voice mail, pagers, caller I.D., internet, etc. Where once answering one's own phone was commonplace, we now have caller I.D. to let us know if our caller is worthy of lifting the receiver for. Anonymous people are living imaginary lives via the internet while the ability to be proactive and develop sincere relationships built on mutual respect and understanding becomes as obsolete as the Victrola (the word Victrola was not even included in my spell check).
Although progresses in technology is of paramount importance, what good comes of all the inventions in the world if the destruction of humanity is the consequence of this progress?
My daughter once had a best friend named Claudia. Together she and Claudia would scamper about the playground, climb hills, go for ice cream, whisper secrets and in general were inseparable. Now, however, Claudia’s best friend is someone she plays with on the internet. As she pales in the darkness of her home, the scampering in the park has been replaced with interactive card games and comparisons of quizzes on the world wide web. The closest they come to playing hide and seek is a game called "Find the chat room where I am." Needless to say, this does not actually enhance the little darling's social skills. Sure her typing speed is equal to that of the most highly paid administrative assistant in the entire corporate world but she withers in the darkness of her own home.
Human contact, eye contact, these are building blocks in a sincere and real relationship. Sure, exchanging words are an important part of communications, but any fool can say or type what they WANT YOU TO KNOW rather that what they really feel. Does it even matter at present whether our converser is sincere - after all, if we are unable to ascertain their sincerity, often found through looking one in the eyes, inevitably we become numb to whether it matters at all.
That which separates humans from other forms of life have traditionally been our ability to reason, our vast avenues of expression through language and our opposable thumbs. Well, as common sense becomes more and more a thing of the past, and linguistic abilities slowly descend to mere grunts of recognition and learned statements used in hopes of obtaining a reward (be it money, affection or position etc.), soon all that will make us unique will be our thumbs, (and I have seen a cat with thumbs so...). I pity the day when we have need to celebrate "We're Human, See Our Thumbs Day".
Although I must confess that I still hear people use please and thank you, I have noted that my use of "pardon me" rather than saying "what" raises eyebrows, causes snickering and elicits a look that clearly states, "you think you’re special don’t you." Correct me if I am wrong but was "pardon me" not once an oft-used phrase in the English language?
It has been claimed that Women's Lib was the ice age of courtesy between men and women, such as door opening and pulling out chairs, which may or may not be true dependant upon perspective (and I simply cannot cover every subject known to man in this book, after all, what would its sequel be about). It seems; however, that gentlemen giving up their seat to the elderly, expectant mothers or small children has also fallen causality to the metamorphoses of genteel society. As I ride the subway to and from work daily one would think I would be accustomed to the scene; however, no matter how many times I see it I am always chagrined at the men, relatively young on the most part, who are seated as an elderly man or woman flail about; or an expectant mother nearly falls to the floor. For over a year I would take my train back two stops so that I would be assured of a seat as it pained me to not have one to offer in such instances. People, please, a little courtesy.
In this day and age of high tech, low human contact, those characteristics which we once depended so much upon, i.e., communication, respect and caring, have been replaced with E-mail, voice mail, pagers, caller I.D., internet, etc. Where once answering one's own phone was commonplace, we now have caller I.D. to let us know if our caller is worthy of lifting the receiver for. Anonymous people are living imaginary lives via the internet while the ability to be proactive and develop sincere relationships built on mutual respect and understanding becomes as obsolete as the Victrola (the word Victrola was not even included in my spell check).
Although progresses in technology is of paramount importance, what good comes of all the inventions in the world if the destruction of humanity is the consequence of this progress?
My daughter once had a best friend named Claudia. Together she and Claudia would scamper about the playground, climb hills, go for ice cream, whisper secrets and in general were inseparable. Now, however, Claudia’s best friend is someone she plays with on the internet. As she pales in the darkness of her home, the scampering in the park has been replaced with interactive card games and comparisons of quizzes on the world wide web. The closest they come to playing hide and seek is a game called "Find the chat room where I am." Needless to say, this does not actually enhance the little darling's social skills. Sure her typing speed is equal to that of the most highly paid administrative assistant in the entire corporate world but she withers in the darkness of her own home.
Human contact, eye contact, these are building blocks in a sincere and real relationship. Sure, exchanging words are an important part of communications, but any fool can say or type what they WANT YOU TO KNOW rather that what they really feel. Does it even matter at present whether our converser is sincere - after all, if we are unable to ascertain their sincerity, often found through looking one in the eyes, inevitably we become numb to whether it matters at all.
Monday, October 23, 2006
There's No Place Like Home (Home? Huh?)
Location, location, location. How many times have we heard that a mood, a moment, a special memory is attributed to a location. When was the last time you looked outside your window? Not a passing glance, but an honest look. Forget the weather and focus on who you do or do not see. Go ahead take a look, I’ll wait. Some of you might be looking at a brick wall while others may be looking out at a bed of roses. Is your neighborhood an integrated community or a slum? Who is walking past? Do you see your neighbor, the one with whom you share your concerns for the community or do you see your neighbor "what's her name"? Do your children play with their children or have you told you child for the millionth time to stay away from them, they're not your kind? One cannot help but be influenced by what lies beyond their window.
Does this mean that only those who see beautiful foliage and singing birds will be successful, happy people? Will the child who looks beyond the alley, over the trashcans, past the homeless man lying behind the liquor store be doomed to a life of poverty and squalor? Of course not! But the perspective that a person holds in their heart is directly affected by the environment which greets them as they head out into the world each day. This is why we need to create a peaceful, clean environment. Although you may not be able to change the fact that you are living in an apartment, which is attached to so many identical apartments, you can still do something.
Perhaps a good way to start would be to introduce yourself to some of your neighbors. I lived on the same block for 17 years and one day realized that I knew the full name of only four people on my block -- and three people by a name, although I am not sure it was their name. There had to be in excess of 70 different families that lived on that street. Although I did the usual nodding hello to some, I did not have a clue as to who they really were. Rather than creating the proverbial village that raises one child we have chosen to become islands upon ourselves. Disconnected from our neighbors, we view our neighborhoods as the place where our stuff is. Gone are the days where your neighbors looked out for your children and you looked out for theirs. This is the dawning of a new day -- every man, woman and child for themselves.
Warm is the memory of children selling lemonade, block parties, the neighborhood grocer, the cop on the beat, borrowing a cup of sugar or just the way your dog nipped at Joe the Mailman's leg. Yes, warm are those memories -- but those memories are not yours. In our quick fix, detached society we view our neighborhoods as a place to pass on the way to and from work. If by some miracle we allot ourselves some time to enjoy, we pack up the car and race out of our neighborhood. Interestingly enough, many people only know the path they travel to and from work, yet, are unable to give directions only a few blocks away. This environmental disassociation enables us to continually turn a blind eye to even those things that are within our power to fix. We are a people who take no pride in their homeland as would be evidenced by even the simplest attention - such as picking up some trash rather than tossing more.
What has taken years of disinterest to create cannot be fixed in a simple, one-step manner. Does that mean that it cannot be improved? Ask yourself a few questions: What does the front of your house look like? Are the hedges trimmed or does it look like Amazonian underbrush? Is your sidewalk swept or do you have to leap over the garbage and tiptoe around the care package that the neighbors' dog left just to get by. It is up to you to take pride in the outside of your home as well as the inside. There is no reason why a person who lives in an apartment could not make sure that the front of their building is neat and tidy. This may be the job of the building owner or the super, but it is YOUR HOME. I’m sure your landlord’s home looks simply wonderful. In the grand scheme of things, you are the one who can either take pride in your surroundings or have your date drop you off two blocks away so they don't see where you live.
Whether you sweep up trash, paint a railing, or screw the door handle back in place, you have made a difference. Others will show more respect for a well kept home than for a home in a state of disrepair. Shedding apathy is contagious; therefore, you can look upon your newfound concern for your environment as a way to change more than just your 3 feet of space. But is beautifying enough? There is still the people whom you have dutifully nodded at for the last 10 years or so. Perhaps you have, at last, found a common ground, it is their neighborhood too.
Involving yourself in your neighborhood can include many different activities. You might want to join -- or create -- a community group. Maybe the neighborhood playground resembles a prison exercise yard. Churches are always organizing something; become more involved in their activities. Get to know the stores and merchants in your area; after all, the small merchant depends upon your business to survive (so if you don't like them, well . . . you know). Meet the parents of your child's friends. Heck, why not meet your child's friends. Start a petition to put a speed bump on the neighborhood drag strip. Do you know who your politicians are? Do you know what they are? What are they doing (or more often than not, not doing) to help the community? The point is, even a little work, if done by many, can effectuate major change. If you walk through your neighborhood feeling pride and community spirit, rather than apathy or disdain, certainly your perspective would be improved. Feeling good inside transcends you and touches those people and things around you.
On a final note, it is a common understanding that plants which bask in the sunlight and warmth of your care thrive (yes I know, they need water too). On the other hand, put your plant on the windowsill, shove a little water at it now and again and watch. Chances are you will be looking at yourself when walking through a neighborhood which you care nothing about, and which cares nothing about you.
Does this mean that only those who see beautiful foliage and singing birds will be successful, happy people? Will the child who looks beyond the alley, over the trashcans, past the homeless man lying behind the liquor store be doomed to a life of poverty and squalor? Of course not! But the perspective that a person holds in their heart is directly affected by the environment which greets them as they head out into the world each day. This is why we need to create a peaceful, clean environment. Although you may not be able to change the fact that you are living in an apartment, which is attached to so many identical apartments, you can still do something.
Perhaps a good way to start would be to introduce yourself to some of your neighbors. I lived on the same block for 17 years and one day realized that I knew the full name of only four people on my block -- and three people by a name, although I am not sure it was their name. There had to be in excess of 70 different families that lived on that street. Although I did the usual nodding hello to some, I did not have a clue as to who they really were. Rather than creating the proverbial village that raises one child we have chosen to become islands upon ourselves. Disconnected from our neighbors, we view our neighborhoods as the place where our stuff is. Gone are the days where your neighbors looked out for your children and you looked out for theirs. This is the dawning of a new day -- every man, woman and child for themselves.
Warm is the memory of children selling lemonade, block parties, the neighborhood grocer, the cop on the beat, borrowing a cup of sugar or just the way your dog nipped at Joe the Mailman's leg. Yes, warm are those memories -- but those memories are not yours. In our quick fix, detached society we view our neighborhoods as a place to pass on the way to and from work. If by some miracle we allot ourselves some time to enjoy, we pack up the car and race out of our neighborhood. Interestingly enough, many people only know the path they travel to and from work, yet, are unable to give directions only a few blocks away. This environmental disassociation enables us to continually turn a blind eye to even those things that are within our power to fix. We are a people who take no pride in their homeland as would be evidenced by even the simplest attention - such as picking up some trash rather than tossing more.
What has taken years of disinterest to create cannot be fixed in a simple, one-step manner. Does that mean that it cannot be improved? Ask yourself a few questions: What does the front of your house look like? Are the hedges trimmed or does it look like Amazonian underbrush? Is your sidewalk swept or do you have to leap over the garbage and tiptoe around the care package that the neighbors' dog left just to get by. It is up to you to take pride in the outside of your home as well as the inside. There is no reason why a person who lives in an apartment could not make sure that the front of their building is neat and tidy. This may be the job of the building owner or the super, but it is YOUR HOME. I’m sure your landlord’s home looks simply wonderful. In the grand scheme of things, you are the one who can either take pride in your surroundings or have your date drop you off two blocks away so they don't see where you live.
Whether you sweep up trash, paint a railing, or screw the door handle back in place, you have made a difference. Others will show more respect for a well kept home than for a home in a state of disrepair. Shedding apathy is contagious; therefore, you can look upon your newfound concern for your environment as a way to change more than just your 3 feet of space. But is beautifying enough? There is still the people whom you have dutifully nodded at for the last 10 years or so. Perhaps you have, at last, found a common ground, it is their neighborhood too.
Involving yourself in your neighborhood can include many different activities. You might want to join -- or create -- a community group. Maybe the neighborhood playground resembles a prison exercise yard. Churches are always organizing something; become more involved in their activities. Get to know the stores and merchants in your area; after all, the small merchant depends upon your business to survive (so if you don't like them, well . . . you know). Meet the parents of your child's friends. Heck, why not meet your child's friends. Start a petition to put a speed bump on the neighborhood drag strip. Do you know who your politicians are? Do you know what they are? What are they doing (or more often than not, not doing) to help the community? The point is, even a little work, if done by many, can effectuate major change. If you walk through your neighborhood feeling pride and community spirit, rather than apathy or disdain, certainly your perspective would be improved. Feeling good inside transcends you and touches those people and things around you.
On a final note, it is a common understanding that plants which bask in the sunlight and warmth of your care thrive (yes I know, they need water too). On the other hand, put your plant on the windowsill, shove a little water at it now and again and watch. Chances are you will be looking at yourself when walking through a neighborhood which you care nothing about, and which cares nothing about you.
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