Tuesday, November 07, 2006

My Damn Cat

I have a cat. Not a breed cat, a regular ordinary off the street cat. Interestingly, I'm allergic to cats but somehow this one just kinda fell into my lap and wouldn't get off. There is a part of me (probably about 85%) that hates this cat. It's a friggin needy, demanding, picky, lil shyt that has tripped me by wrapping itself around my ankles while I walk, has made me stop breathing by laying on my face in my sleep and has destroyed my hallway having scratched the paper off the walls.I feed this furry bag of shyt every day (against my better judgment) - I give it a can of food which it will discriminately nibble at, eating, at most, 1/16th of the can - but can I just give it a little and put the rest in the fridge - NOT. Once it's in the fridge it's considered inedible and the friggin cat would rather starve than let it touch its palate. I also give it dry food which it demands is always available - at all times - no matter what. So why the cans? If I don't give it some at least twice a day from a can, that fucker screams and cries until either I do or I punt it's dumbasss - all depends on the kinda day I'm having.

The cat loves water, but will not drink it off the floor - it must come fresh from the tap at all times thus I leave the water running at least in one place in the house at all times.The cat does not like to sleep alone, it likes to lay up against me, its head on my arm, and woe is me if I move - swipe with the claws. Since life is so damn exciting I usually fall asleep on the couch so I try to position that fucker so I can shove it between the cushions when I want to get up - the shock usually gives me that few second head start I need so as not to get my assed kicked.

I went to Jersey last weekend and that really screwed up with the cat's schedule. I got home and in acts of open defiance this idiot destroyed my house. Down came curtains, blinds lay broken in my kitchen window, glass shattered on the floor, ashtrays knocked over (one inside a crowded chest/table that will now require emptying and cleaning), beverages came-a tumbling down, and my favorite towel full of piss. Yet, idiot that I AM - the cat lives.It's quieted now - my daughter got back from vacation and put the fear of God in it - but the memory lingers. I look into those dead green eyes knowing what it's capable and I stand at alert - I will not be taken by surprise again.

Right now I'm shopping for a dog - A VERY BIG DOG - that will guard me and my home against Eightball the cat from hell - then, and only then, will peace be restored.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Heading for the Weekend Countdown

Ain't that a shame, we count down to the weekends. Like 5/7ths of our life is cursed and only 2/7ths are worth anticipating. Wow I need a new job don't I?

Nine days until my lil boy and his wifey come to town. I have not even begun preparing for this - arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. What the hell am I gonna do? Not like I have help in getting things ready, nor even someone to inspire or encourage, nope not I. But that is no excuse becaue I'm a HUGE believer in personal responsibility.

All my life I've watched, and at times joined into, the drama, "What People Have Done To Me." I used to blame my frigged up childhood, my ex, my parents, my siblings, my finances, my location and my education for every bad thing that ever occurred to me. But let's face it, we are who we permit ourselves to be and do what we empower ourselves to do.

I listened to years of "My Dad was so mean, My Mom was so neglectful." All of which would come streaming out for hours after a bottle or two of wine - but at some point you are the Dad or the Mom and if you are focused on yourself all the time, you are doing it to your own kids.
Nothing in life comes easy, not to me, to you, to the poor, to the rich. There are consequences and responsibilities for everything we get or have in our lives, so since we are all burdened with "what people would do to you IF THEY COULD" we are separated then by that WHAT WE DO ABOUT IT.

Wow, rambling - must be end of a long day syndrome. This post isn't even going anywhere, it's just what I tell myself at moments when I catch myself complaining. Oh things aren't getting done because I am "being crippled" by someone acting crippled. Nah, can't go down like that. Things are not being done because I'm seeking an excuse because I'm just not feeling doing it right now. PERIOD.

So let me go do nothing for the moment (I give myself permission) until 5:30 when I get to play my game on the train and go home to try to start getting things done.

Peace

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Just some BS Since I'm Cranky

Wow, November first, the holiday countdown begins - argh.

Work sux, too much petty bullshyt and procrastination. My job requires absolutely no imagination nor intelligence - yawwwwwnnnn.

Yesterday got to see Jesse - young woman with amazing potential and is as nice a person as you will ever meet. She's doing great (not that I had any doubts she would) and it was the highlight of my day just having lunch with her. Miss ya Jesse.

My love life is it's normal chaotic thing but I do love my baby. He'll be going away for a week while my son visits - and our time away from one another might actually be a good thing. It will give him time to see life without me, and if he likes it then I will wish him well. Hell, I might want him to stay there myself - who knows.

A week and two days until my son visits - it's been such a helluva long time that it's gonna be weird trying to catch up all within a week. Wow I so need to work on the house though - argh.
My lil one is having monumental work issues and the Mom in me would like nothing better than to go there after work and do a number on a certain perverted, egomaniacal bastard who is making her life hell. But she pleaded with me not to. The asshole actually pushed her on a stairway so although I am calmish now, there's no telling if I will be able to maintain. Stay tuned.

Otherwise, beside rewriting a Graduate School essay that blew me away with its awfulness, and shopping for some uglyass clothes for work - I am, as always, just doing me.

Peace